I’ve gone two months without posting.
But, I’m going to try to write more.
More for me.
Ok, so today was a very nostalgic day, spent remembering a lot of things from my past. I came to the same conclusion that I always come to when feeling like this, and that is this: while I am only somewhat content with who I am right now, I am glad that I’ve grown as much as I have, and in the direction that I have grown. The old pictures and old memories and old friends all have a great significance to me, but that’s not the way it is anymore. I think I’m almost entirely disconnected from my old friends’ lives, and it doesn’t really bother me. It’s not that I don’t miss them, but the person that misses them right now isn’t the same person that they knew.
I’m graduating very soon, and it’s kind of a big deal. I’m not sure if I’m going to ever go back to school. I may be done forever. Who knows. Right now it feels very strange because I only have one class, and I spend the rest of my day downtown at my internship. I get paid for any hours that I work extra, but this past week I haven’t had a chance to put in any extra hours. This is kind of a problem because money has been an issue as of late. Allow me to explain.
Since these are my last two quarters, and my credit requirements aren’t very demanding, I am only doing school “part-time”. Last quarter I had 11.5 credit hours, and this quarter I only have 11. Sure, I could’ve graduated last quarter, but the lease on my house isn’t up until June, and I didn’t want to feel stuck here working just because of my lease.
Anyway, since I am only doing school part time, I can’t borrow as much money as I could before from my student loan when I was doing full-time enrollment. Therefore, my living expenses was cut by half. Of course, I didn’t find this out until the middle of the quarter, but that is always how these sorts of things happen. So, since my living expenses were cut in half, I barely had enough money to go home for spring break (which, I admit, was actually a really dumb idea). So, I was broke the whole time I was in New Mexico, and had to borrow money to come back to Utah. Then, of course, I was totally broke when I was actually back in Utah. Fun times. See, my parents aren’t really able to support me financially, so I was stuck scraping money together for food and gas for two weeks.
I should be getting my financial aid disbursement sometime this week, so that will help greatly. I’m very much looking forward to getting that check, even though it won’t be for very much. I guess, in a sense, I’m very excited to finally be able to support myself financially for a change. The only problem is picking a job within the next few months…
…and the anxiety continues.