It only recently started getting “cold” here in California. A couple weeks ago I was wearing shorts. Hell, even last week I didn’t need much more than a light zip-up hoodie. This is in stark contrast to the weather I’ve grown used to in my time living in Utah and New Mexico (yes, it definitely gets cold at 6,400 feet, even in NM). I have a closet full of heavy jackets and thick hoodies, and I haven’t really had to use them until this week. Even then, it doesn’t feel like winter here - it’s more like a mild autumn than anything.
In packing for my Christmas vacation (I actually am supposed to be leaving to the airport in 5 hours…), I was both ecstatic and apprehensive looking forward at the coming 10 days with my family and friends, neither of whom I have seen in a while. I was ecstatic because I am always excited to be around friends, especially now that I am living on my own without any real friends of my own. I was ecstatic because Christmas with my family is always such a big thing, and I can’t imagine spending it anywhere else, really.
However, I was apprehensitve mostly because I remembered how often I get excited to go home only to be disappointed. Vegas has a weird way of doing that to me. There isn’t much to do, and even though friends are in town, without a car it’s hard to see anyone. Even if you do get to spend time with friends, it always somehow feels short-lived. Also, it’s always weird to transition from living on your own without any restrictions to suddenly sleeping in your old room on a bunk bed. I still haven’t gotten used to that.
Regardless, this Christmas break is well-deserved and I am looking forward to the chance to relax and spend some time away from work. I’m even looking forward to freezing my ass off. There’s one thing I am not looking forward to, however, and that is the anxiety that I’ve set my expectations too high. I don’t care if this Christmas break is life-changing. No, I just want to feel like I’m back home - a little closer to the way things used to be with the friends and family that shares that same goal with me.